“If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘surely the darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.” Psalm 139:8-12
I have a journal that I’ve kept for about a year now. I started it when I was sad, and mopey, and lonely and I thought writing in it would make me feel like I was talking to someone (aka myself – I mean who knows me better than me?). On June 19, 2017 I wrote, “One day you’ll stand in front of your savior completely, physically, spiritually naked. And He will look at you and say, ‘I delight in you,’… That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Someone to delight in me.” I didn’t come up with those words on my own – I got most of them from a sermon I’d heard the day before, and it just clicked inside of me. Everything I needed was just exactly what Jesus is.
I know we all go through these bouts of darkness where we feel that nothing and no one, not even the God of the universe, can reach us. It’s a bizarre thing when we feel that our Creator can’t reach down and pick up His creation. But His word proves time and time again that He is willing, able, and actually finds pleasure in crawling into that “dark place” with us and bringing us out, triumphant, joyful, and as a completely new creation.
I mean, the earth itself was swarming with sin, death, pain, and sickness, and Jesus chose be born and become a man who would feel every feeling and understand every temptation and He found joy in that. And He didn’t come here just to understand. He came to pull us out of it with Him. To give us life in the midst of death; abundance in the midst of depravity.
He is so incredible, so loving, so self-sacrificing.
The vast amount of lies that are thrown at a person when they’re surrounded by darkness is insane and oftentimes unbearable. I remember sitting in my room one night while I was in high school. I’d gotten into a lot of trouble and the only thoughts that kept coming to me were “not even God wants you.” SUCH a lie and yet somehow SO believable. But the truth is, dear reader, if you’ve ever felt this (and I’m sure you have because you’re a human), His thoughts toward you and His opinion of you is perfect and lovely. The same Psalm that proves He will find you in the darkness gives us the most hopeful words:
“How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You.” Psalm 139:17-18
He loves you. He thinks good things about you. He sees you as righteousness, purified by the blood He shed when He came to pull you out of the darkest place in the universe – the world.
So, in turn, think good things about yourself. Mimic our Father and see yourself as righteous, loved, beautiful, and purified, because you are! That’s the good news! Jesus died on the cross to save you from debts you couldn’t repay and yet, seeing that brokenness, seeing the ugliness that sin brought upon you, He willingly chose to cleanse you, love you, and create a new thing in you.
I would encourage you to read this Psalm every day as a reminder of what He did for you and what He will continue to do for you. Unselfishly ask Him to mold you and to search your heart; to help you see your blemishes so that you can work towards the perfection of the everlasting.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
You will never be lost from the sight of Our Father. Follow Him, obey Him, love Him and you will always be lead to the most perfect path; the path of righteousness.