I woke up this morning to the sound of my phone pinging. My first thought was, “IT’S 7:30. WHY IS ANYONE TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW??” But then I had a feeling I needed to see what it was.
“I’m sorry to have to tell you, but Grandma had a heart attack last night,” it read.
Oh. Oh no. I’m in Kansas. I’m so far away from my family right now. They’re in Michigan. Oh, Jesus, what am I supposed to do? I sat up in bed and with a frazzled and unsure heart and called my mom.
“Mom, Grandma Fowle had a heart attack!?”
She asked me what I would do, whether I’d drive the 10 hours home in the next day or so or stay put. I didn’t know what to do. My mind was clouded and fear was wrapping itself around me, whispering to me that things were, in fact, not going to be okay. I felt overwhelmed.
“Let’s pray.” She said. My mom has this way of always bringing me back to the ground. I’m very emotions driven and anyone who knows me knows that I can get carried away in thoughts which later can carry me away into fear.
This was my grandma. The 92 year old, ever-living, always moving grandma of mine. I’ve never really known her to be sick and even when I moved into her home to help my grandpa as he was passing away from brain cancer, she never seemed weak. She would always remind me that she was just trusting in The Lord. So I always just trusted that she’d be okay.
Nevertheless, we did as my momma said and prayed. My heart was overcome with a peace that made me not want to move. You know how sometimes when people play with your hair or rub your back and it feels so good that you just don’t want to move? That was me. I was just kind of sitting there. Everything was going to be okay.
It’s only been a couple of hours since I read the initial message and had those fearful thoughts. I’ve spoken on the phone to my grandma and she sounds weak, tired, and more fragile than I’ve ever heard her be. And yet, through it all, I have peace. I know that my God is the God of peace. My Jesus is the Jesus that says, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)
My God is the “God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
So let me send some comfort your way. Whatever trial or trouble you come across today, whether life throws life changing curve balls your way or not, take comfort. Lean on the Jesus that died on the cross thinking of you.
God is not surprised that my sweet grandma had a heart attack and that I am 10 hours away from home. He knew this was going to happen before I even packed up and left. He knew before I was even accepted into this internship. He knew about this before my grandma was even born. God is not surprised by what you’re going through. That’s exactly why He’s able and willing to comfort you. He loves you, He is your father, He is your friend. Let Him comfort you. It might not be okay right now, but in the long run, it will be exactly what it needs to be. God works all things together for good for those who obey Him and live their lives to serve Him.
My dad used to write memory verses on note cards for me to learn when I was little and one that I used every night before bed (because I was terrified of the dark, monsters, ghosts, and anything that moves) and still use today is 2 Timothy 1:7. It’s helped me so much in my walk with Jesus (thanks, Dad). Maybe it’ll help you too, the next time fear tries to come into your life.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind.”